Breathing in, breathing out.
I JUST NEED A RELEASE.
It all started when i got my results for SAT1. The ultimate breakdown of everything; which univ to go, what to do, and basically when to do it. And since i got it bad.. all of my plans were ruined. I had to reschedule all my exam dates just to meet the univ deadlines and at the same time juggle A-Levels. I spent the last few weeks in agony and i was crying to myself practically every night thinking what have i done.
I need a booster, but i'm not sure whether if it is not too late.
I spent almost the whole day today and yesterday preparing a kenduri for my parents' Haj. They're leaving on Monday, which is after my Maths P7 in which again, left me in a dilemma whether or not to stay at myplace that Sunday night. Today is Saturday so it's tomorrow night. I am extremely tired today, i had the Maths subject test in the morning and after a 2 hours nap i was constantly doing something to the point that one of the neighboring aunties thought that i was one of the caterers. This adds on to the 'list of what pissed athirah off', the way she greeted me when she thought that i was a caterer was extremely haughty and 'aku tak layan la org2 macam kau org ni', and when she finally realize i am the Mem's daughter, terus bertukar! 'ehhhhh mama mane? aunty ingt caterer td.. nape tak siap lagi ni dah nak maghrib dah ni.'
Aunty tanye nape tak siap lagi? serious aunty nak tau?? arghhhhh.
So when i finally get the chance to go up to my room to get ready, not only that there's this bunch of the most notorious kids that you'll ever meet on my bed with my laptop tgh main pet society, my room smelled like my DKNY perfume puffed maybe like 20x times, my study lamp dah bengkang bengkok, my papers kena conteng with my markers and felt tips, my precious royal blue peacock feather masquearade mask is on the floor AND ade taik sape tah kat jamban tak flush!!! ishhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Lepas tu mase solat tadi, pitam lagi. Adoi la.
My P7 is on Monday, like i've said before, and i am nowhere near ready. My econs too is on friday for god sake and at the moment i know that it is going to be a failed attempt to at least pass. Tomorrow my parents has a meeting at Pavi and i'm still contemplating whether if i want to tag along. I need to shop desperately :( And i need to settle about the rent. Still. After one whole week of worry. Despite the fact that i am extremely concerned about my nenek staying over at my house during my parents' Haj trip, i still feel that i really need to stay at myplace. Atleast until Nov 18 after all the big stuffs are settled. But i'm worried, eventhough Mirah is in the house but i know too well that she'll be upstairs the whole entire time. I don't really blame her die pun nak study jugak kot. I just honestly feel that we're not 8 years old anymore, and my nenek is not as young and fit as she was more than a decade ago, no? Risau lagi. Stress lagi.
And to make matter much worse, E is being cold to me. And i know why, but i can't afford anymore stress. Please. But i still can't stop thinking about him. Heh.
My short term aim for now is just to study as much as possible, even if i don't have to sleep for a week.
Goodnight.
It all started when i got my results for SAT1. The ultimate breakdown of everything; which univ to go, what to do, and basically when to do it. And since i got it bad.. all of my plans were ruined. I had to reschedule all my exam dates just to meet the univ deadlines and at the same time juggle A-Levels. I spent the last few weeks in agony and i was crying to myself practically every night thinking what have i done.
I need a booster, but i'm not sure whether if it is not too late.
I spent almost the whole day today and yesterday preparing a kenduri for my parents' Haj. They're leaving on Monday, which is after my Maths P7 in which again, left me in a dilemma whether or not to stay at myplace that Sunday night. Today is Saturday so it's tomorrow night. I am extremely tired today, i had the Maths subject test in the morning and after a 2 hours nap i was constantly doing something to the point that one of the neighboring aunties thought that i was one of the caterers. This adds on to the 'list of what pissed athirah off', the way she greeted me when she thought that i was a caterer was extremely haughty and 'aku tak layan la org2 macam kau org ni', and when she finally realize i am the Mem's daughter, terus bertukar! 'ehhhhh mama mane? aunty ingt caterer td.. nape tak siap lagi ni dah nak maghrib dah ni.'
Aunty tanye nape tak siap lagi? serious aunty nak tau?? arghhhhh.
So when i finally get the chance to go up to my room to get ready, not only that there's this bunch of the most notorious kids that you'll ever meet on my bed with my laptop tgh main pet society, my room smelled like my DKNY perfume puffed maybe like 20x times, my study lamp dah bengkang bengkok, my papers kena conteng with my markers and felt tips, my precious royal blue peacock feather masquearade mask is on the floor AND ade taik sape tah kat jamban tak flush!!! ishhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Lepas tu mase solat tadi, pitam lagi. Adoi la.
My P7 is on Monday, like i've said before, and i am nowhere near ready. My econs too is on friday for god sake and at the moment i know that it is going to be a failed attempt to at least pass. Tomorrow my parents has a meeting at Pavi and i'm still contemplating whether if i want to tag along. I need to shop desperately :( And i need to settle about the rent. Still. After one whole week of worry. Despite the fact that i am extremely concerned about my nenek staying over at my house during my parents' Haj trip, i still feel that i really need to stay at myplace. Atleast until Nov 18 after all the big stuffs are settled. But i'm worried, eventhough Mirah is in the house but i know too well that she'll be upstairs the whole entire time. I don't really blame her die pun nak study jugak kot. I just honestly feel that we're not 8 years old anymore, and my nenek is not as young and fit as she was more than a decade ago, no? Risau lagi. Stress lagi.
And to make matter much worse, E is being cold to me. And i know why, but i can't afford anymore stress. Please. But i still can't stop thinking about him. Heh.
My short term aim for now is just to study as much as possible, even if i don't have to sleep for a week.
Goodnight.
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