I want an umbrella, a big one. (And make sure it's pink. Or maybe red)

My big sissy had just left the country to find solitude, and may she have a safe sojourn.

I don't know why everything about today is just... sad. 

Things are falling apart; and what makes it sadder is that i was so confident that it will last. If it were to be broken, i'd never imagined it to be this way. I fear for her, and i am desperately clinging to the tiny ray of hope that everything will turn out well in the end, for everybody. It stressed me out because there is so little that i can do except to listen and lend my ear. I would hate to see another child having the same life like what she had.

I promise to never let that happen.

It's raining more than often these days. It's nice and comforting in a sense, but somehow when i was driving back from LCCT back to home, it creeps me out. I've been thinking about death more than usual nowadays, maybe it is led from the death from my grand uncle a few nights ago (innalillah). My sisi had also told me something about a certain extremely close relative of mine tgh sakit which is high likely to be serious, and apparently it's a secret. Why is everything happening now?? And the mole reader who told me about me having a short life too didn't help either, even though that i know that it is a very stupid assumption.

I have so many plans and i really want to get everything done! I know i'm not being the best that i should be right now, but i'm doing it slowly. I want to learn more and i must say i couldn't wait. I feel that after the car ride just now (i always find driving minus traffic is comforting), there is so many things that i should do and can do. Now it is just mastering the arts of juggling everything at the same time. sigh. Time, why are you going too fast?